Greg J Daley

As Christians, intimacy should come naturally to us. We were created by God’s love and for love.

And we have known (experienced) and believed the love that God has for us. God is love and he who abides in love abides in God and God in him.   1 John 4:16   However, we sometimes find ourselves struggling with being real and transparent with God and with others.  Fear, Shame, and Control seek to block the true identity, of who God called us to be, from shining through.  Here are three important keys to help us increase our intimacy with God and others. 

Key 1# The image we have of ourselves determines the depth of intimacy with which we dwell.

Many of us struggle through life because we fear intimacy (in-to-me-see). Either because of a deficiency of parental love or because we have experienced some traumatic form of rejection in the past, we set up boundaries and walls to keep people out so that we can protect ourselves from the pain of more rejection. This can hinder us from having intimate fellowship with God and healthy relationships with others.

Jack Frost said: “You were created in God’s image, and God is love. If you are uncomfortable with God, you are uncomfortable with love.  If you are uncomfortable with love, you are uncomfortable with yourself.  If you are uncomfortable with yourself, you’re going to be uncomfortable with others.”

What happens is that, if you don’t believe you are lovable, you will find it difficult to receive God’s gift of unmerited love and favor. There is no way you can enjoy normal relationships with others if you view yourself differently from the way God views you.

The other day I prayed for a woman who was seeking healing.  As I waited on the Lord, He told me to tell her that she was worthy in His eyes to receive healing.  She immediately began to weep.  Unworthiness had caused her to not be comfortable with God’s love, so it was hindering her from receiving His love and healing. Breakthrough came as she opened up her heart to receive His loving touch.

Key #2 We must be willing to embrace our responsibility for intimacy.

Many relationship problems we have are a result of our unwillingness to know others and to be known by them.  Jesus came to restore our capacity for intimacy, despite all the many times we may have been hurt or have hurt others.  Through Christ we inherit all the things that had been lost in the Fall – not only salvation, healing, and joy, but also our capacity to love fully and to be loved, and to be restored into a life of intimacy.

If we do not make love and intimacy a primary pursuit in our relationships, we have missed out on the fullness of what Jesus died for – to restore us to intimacy.  If we are walking in all the Christian disciplines and duties, if we are expressing love, kindness and compassion to everyone else, but not pursuing deeper intimacy with our spouse and family, then we are not accepting our full responsibility for walking as a child of God.

Christian disciplines are important but they are the lowest form of discipleship.  Why?  Because I don’t want to have to come to my wife out of discipline and say “I love you.”  Discipline is important if you need to get motivated again but love is a more excellent way.

Key #3 Intimacy requires us to find our values and self-worth in being who God create us to be – A         vessel for His Spirit and a gift of love to others.   

The more we ask Father to fill the void in our hearts with His love and commit to practicing loving actions to our spouses, children and others, the more comfortable we become with God and ultimately with ourselves.  As we begin to submit to a lifestyle of love and intimacy, God is faithful to transform our hearts, our characters and our natures in ways we would never have imagined.

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.  2 Cor. 3:18

What you behold is what you become. This is why I love Soaking Prayer.  There is no agenda other than to meet with Him, to receive His love and give it away.   I recently experienced the fruit of spending time in His presence while in a special Soaking session at Bethel church in Redding, where my wife and I spent an hour and half just waiting on Him in a room prepared for that encounter.  The intimacy with Him changed me and did something on the inside of me that I could not do for myself.  That was a work of Grace.  Some of the roughness of the flesh was melted away by an encounter with Him.  He made it so easy.  We cannot strive to bear fruit.  Fruit trees don’t strive to be fruitful, you just give them the right environment and they will bear fruit.   We are changed by being in His presence.  Love and intimacy is our destiny. God has crafted us to be instruments of His love and to demonstrate His compassion and tenderness to everyone we meet.